Showing Compassion

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As we all struggle to make sense of Bella’s tragic death and the trauma Tarra experienced witnessing it, peace of mind does not come easily. Losing a loved one is difficult enough without the death being violent and the witness being helpless to stop it.

Tarra has seen many dog fights. Not once did she approach the fighting; instead she rapidly recoiled, squeaking fearfully, trunk tucked under her chin, moving away from the confrontation.

It is not that Tarra would not have wanted to come to Bella’s aid, but she does not possess that intense protective nature that drives a mother to defend her young. Tarra loved Bella with every cell in her being and saw her as a playmate and friend.

We can all agree that Tarra has experienced a serious trauma. Suggesting that in three short days she has come to terms with Bella’s death is not rational. Experts the world over have documented the depth of emotional and social bonds elephants possess. They grieve their dead in ceremonial fashion for days. They return to the place of death year after year, rekindling their memories. Mothers carry their dead calf for miles, refusing to leave the body until it decays.

To recognize that elephants are sentient beings means to understand the depth of their emotions. You cannot truly know them without recognizing their highly evolved reasoning capacity. The greatest mistake that can be made is to arrogantly underestimate an elephant’s intelligence and complexity or assume that you can truly know an elephant after only a few short months. Such errors can result in mismanagement.

There was a day when the Sanctuary would rally around a traumatized individual, immediately enlisting every resource possible. In all situations, recovery support was a priority. To deny Tarra anything in her time of need is heartless.

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9 responses to “Showing Compassion”

October 29, 2011

Sandra G

Well said, Carol. Our hearts break for sweet, loving Tarra.

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October 29, 2011

Lisa Wellman

Praying hard and sending positive thoughts with much love to you both.

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October 29, 2011

sherryheim

And heartbreaking. It is now crystal clear that TES is no longer “for the elephants” it is now just a business that happens to be “about” elephants. It has become obvious to me, especially now, that their interest is not in Tarra’s wefare, it is about being inflexible and ignoring Tarra’s need to be with her real family, which is you. Tarra is social and she seems to care about every one of the girls who have come to stay in her home, but she does not seem “attached” to any single elephant like the others do, for Terra, it was Bella, not another elephant. Tarra was raised around humans and dogs so she probably relates to them more than she does elephants, or so it seems to me. The way I see it is that Tarra has now lost her entire family circle, you, Scott and Bella. My heart aches when I think of how lonely and lost she must truly feel. Those she trusted and felt the most comfortable around are all gone. How could TES not recognize that fact? Is it that they don’t recognize it or that they are having a wonderful time holding Tarra hostage? It is like they are trying to get even about something with you or break your heart enough times that you will back down, and that they are pleased that this is just another way they can goad you. While they are busy playing their childish games against you, they are putting Tarra’s needs on a back burner, they just don’t seem to care, one iota, about how their foolish actions are effecting her. I know that TES is Tarra’s home and you promised her you would never take her from that home, it is not exactly like you can just put up a chain link fence and move your elephant into your backyard, either and starting over is really not an option. With that said, I wonder about Tarra’s welfare there and I wonder if she is being taken care of in the way you need for her to be cared for? As you pointed out, Tarra never developed some of her elephant instincts, perhaps because she always had you by her side and she never lived in an elephant world so she never felt that she needed to. Perhaps this extends to her not actually forming strong bonds with other elephants in the way she would have in a herd in the wild. Likewise, Tarra has never lived as a circus or zoo elephant so she never had to deal with the inhumanity that the other girls did. It is also true that she never learned to be guarded when it came to loving you or other humans as her herd members. I don’t know the answers, Carol, but what I do know, now, is that all of my darkest suspicions about TES since your departure, seem to be proving out even though I had always held out hope that I was completely wrong. What is happening to our girls? What will happen to TES now that they have all these big salaries to pay to all the “professionals” that they have hired? Anyone can see that it computes to less funding for elephants and more for administration. Okay, I AM trying to hold a positive thought, but everytime I start to get a grip on that, TES does something cold and insensitive that stirs up my passionate side and makes me want to take the BOD down. I used to see TES as “heaven on earth for elephants” but now I see it as more of an animal park. I may not be alone in these thoughts since none of the elephants who have been granted sanctuary, since you left TES, have been sent there, all have gone to PAWS. The heart and soul of TES has gone cold and I don’t like it a bit.

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October 30, 2011

Ellie

I have written the Board of Director with my concerns about all the lost relationships Tarra has experienced over the past two years. The Board can go along ways in helping to heal old wounds many of us still feel by allowing you and Tarra to resume your 36 year relationship.

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October 31, 2011

starling

Carol, when my puli’s dog died, well he was her mother/father/lover/brother/teacher/friend…one evening they even did drugs together when he got the doggie sleeping pills off the kitchen counter and he and she shared them in his bed, until I figured out why she couldn’t walk straight…anyway but when he died, she stopped every place that he used to pee on for months; and sometimes she would look at me after she finished sniffing. 3 years later she still looked for him.

To say that Tarra had come to terms with Bella’s death is arrogant and ignorant. Unfortunately he is now the one-eyed man in the land of the blind.

I feel so sorry for Bella. and for Tarra. And for all the elephants and especially for all the dogs at the sanctuary who only have themselves to care for, look after and protect.

Bella’s death is to me anyway one unexpected outcome of not going into the habitat with the animals or at night.

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October 31, 2011

Diane Faulkner

Carol: I pray that you will be able to see and comfort Tarra. I am wondering if Sharon Callahan’s flower essences would help Tarra now like they did Barbara. Perhaps Sharon Callahan can be of some comfort to you and Tarra both. I really feel for you both.

Diane Faulkner

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November 1, 2011

rakshaming

Carol, I’m just heartbroken that TES is not letting you see Tarra. Let’s hope that you will be able to see her soon.

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November 2, 2011

anabelas

It is so sad and unexpected. Deep pain. A friendship so beautiful like this so tragically devastated. I will always remember the beautiful images of the interaction of Tarra and Bella. Any bond of friendship or love is always devastating when ruptured abruptly. I would be very happy if the old bonds of friendship and love will never be broke and if they could meet again. I would be very happy if they could hold together to comfort yourself and visit the graves of their friends. In friendship and in love there can be no barriers, they are on top of any conviction, belief or knowledge. To acknowledge this is an act of love and compassion. I wish the best for Tarra, to his sisters and who truly loves and wants the best for these animals so wonderful.
The story of Jenny and Shirley, Tarra and Bella, and the lives of other elephants in the sanctuary marked me deeply. They are a lesson for life.
Deeply sad
Anabela Silva from Portugal

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November 7, 2011

SHyde

Dearest sweet Carol, I hope and pray you and Tarra will be reunited soon and you will be allowed to comfort your old friend. It is unfathomable to me that you would be kept from her after all these years.

The Sanctuary’s first responsibility is the ele’s, not personal vendetta’s. Very sad situation.

Chin up. You will see her again.

<3

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